Firefly In July

It’s the holy week and as most of the Christian community had taken the week off to contemplate on the holiday’s relevance, I am here in the office playing the part of a martyr, flagellated by the tirade of financial requirements that came in downpour since last week.  It’s worse than the year-end close. Two of the four companies that I handle are currently on their annual audit taking much of my time, leaving me to cram for the financial statements (FS) that are also due for release…those in accounting know what an FS preparation entail: too much work, too little sleep.  I’m stretching my brain cells to their limits and was typing like crazy hoping that I will be spared of crucifixion if I dont deliver on time.

I consoled myself with the thought that there has never been an instance that I failed to finish the reports on the deadline.  With the inclusion of my teammates, we had always delivered… So far.

It’s now Good Friday, the last day of the work week.  The auditor’s request were disposed of, three FS have been sent out, one to go and I’m done.  Then like a sudden thunder on a summer day, another email slammed into my inbox.  The FS had been scrutinized and now the partners need cash analyses for each plus the detailed expenses for the past year complete with variance explanations!  Could I just delete this?!  I’m dying!

I’m running low on patience and the last email had it all drained up.  I’m beginning to get really really pissed, close to burning the papers on my desk… my hope of going home early had just vanished into thin air.  How did life become so suddenly busy!!!

I need a break.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Count one to one thousand.  I dragged my cursor to my collection of forwarded messages and scanned for something that will momentariy pull me out of this building agitation. I came across the video of shadow puppets received from a good friend several month ago.  I put on my earphones and opened the file.  What A Wonderful World was the accompanying song and just half way thru the video, I was already feeling better.  The song and the amusing puppetry had a calming effect that paved the way into a reflective mood.  There’s alot to be thankful for, I mused, including the work that I have.

Often, it’s the simple things that bring us back on track.  They remind us that amidst the chaos and clutter of modern living, the essentials are just in the background waiting for a little attention, calling out that there are still so much wonder in the world to be happy about. 

So now that I am refocused, I can go back to work.

I’ve been receiving queries on the significance of ‘Firefly In July’ to which I have a standard answer of  ‘why dont you check the link in my site?’  However, the redirected questions are always thrown back like a bounced email or mailer-daemon.  I later on learned that there are some who cannot access or even view the link to my welcome note that explains about the site’s title.  There might be a filter running in their system, or an error in my page, or….oh, whatever!  I dont want to burden myself with figuring this one out  at the moment and I dont what to change my theme just yet.  I’ll deal with it as soon as I get my hands free of accounting work (it always gets in the way of blogging).  Meantime, Im posting the note for the benefit of those who cant access the page.  Here’s what it says:

*** 

What’s With Firefly?

Welcome Readers!  Thank you for dropping by and giving my page a scan.  Why firefly, you may wonder.  I once had this tiny mobile phone that lit all over when a key is pressed.  It managed to get thrown out of the window (I’m not saying why and how ) to the next block several meters away, and while in mid-air, it glowed like a firefly in the holy darkness of what was then a July night.  Yeah, what a beauty… and what a wreck!  I loved that phone, we had some happy times together.  In honor of its faithful service and for keeping our most intimate conversations ’til its very last mumbled sms, I’m naming this site ‘Firefly In July’.

***

It is not my original composition.  In fact, there are countless romantics out there who have likewise been entraced by this poem and posted it in their personal sites.  Well, my site’s is not to be outdone it will exist so long as Neruda’s Puedo Escribir graces its virtual pages.

I first read it in one of my spanish classes and immediately, I was captivated by the eloquently written words pulsating with raw emotion.  And by pure divine intervention, an officemate gave me a copy of ‘Il Postino’ for Valentines.  It contained Neruda’s most memorable poems translated into english and narrated by well known Hollywood actors.  Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines is the english immortalization of Puedo Escribir and although I have read alot of outcry calling it a poor mimic of the original, I really dont care,  I loved it just the same. I listened to it over and over until I have memorized the piece in both languages.  Andy Garcia lent his voice to the narration taking the already emotionally rich composition to a whole new level.

Anyone who have ever felt the deep chilling longing for an absent love could totally relate to the sentiments of this poem.  Read on.

***

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,’The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’  

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me and sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all.  In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Tags: Neruda, Poem, Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines

I reported back to work on Thursday and was welcomed by close to 500 unread emails (that’s few compared to some people).  I was feeling better and I knew I could handle the backlog with grace.  That optimism continued until the break of dawn when I felt a growing discomfort in my right shoulder.  I dunno what is it with me these days, after the virus now Im suffering from muscle pains.  I made a dash to the clinic and asked for a plaster of Salonpas.  That should do the trick.

The following night was not any better, the pain was worse and the medicated plaster did nothing to soothe the pain.  It was impossible to ignore.  I felt I needed a brace or a sling to hang my arm on.  Time to call our in-house therapist!

Our company takes reported discomforts seriously.  In fact, the CARES program (forgot what the acronym stands for hehehe, I’ll check on it) was set up to assist employees who my have RSI – Repetitive Stress Injury – and provide support to correct their condition.  Back in 2005,  I was already enrolled in the program due to frequent migraines.  It meant occassional visits by the therapist and Workpace (application that locks the computer and asks you to do exercises or leave your workstation) prompted more often leaving me no choice but to stop working.  I was tempted not to make future reports to avoid the compulsory breaks so I can finish my work on time.  But that is not the best option.

On the brighter side, I am lucky to be with a company that takes employees safety at heart.  A lot of employers out there arent too understanding.  I remember one of my supervisors before, telling me to slow down and take it easy.  I didnt listen, I thought what is there to do but work.  The repercussions of spending too much time at the office are manifesting at this age, and my supervisor’s words came ringing like a conscience with a trident.  I’ll be kinder to myself from now on.

Tags: migraine, muscle pain, RSI

I was watching the news about the recent ZTE scandal and Greed, Commission, Kickback are just some of the words commonly heard nowadays.  Ordinary people were asked if they knew what these words mean and the answers were hilarious!

***

Reporter: Ano po ang ibig sabihin ng Greed?

Aleng nasa kalye:  Kung matalino ka o bobo, may greed ka!

Mamang nasa kalye:  Madami kasi yun, may greed 1.. may greed 2…

Binatang tambay:  Yung pagbati …yun ba yun?

***

Reporter:  Ano po ang ibig sabihin ng Commission?

Aleng nasa kalye:  Ahhh… eeee…. kasi.. hindi ako taga rito!

Mamang nasa kalye:  Mmmm.. d ko alam, engles kasi.

***

Reporter:  Ano po ang ibig sabihin ng Kickback?

Aleng nasa kalye:  Ay masama yun, kurakot yun!

Mamang nasa kalye:  Binulsa na pera! Nakaw!

Binatang tambay:  Pangungurakot!!!!!

Wow! ang galing.  Valedictorian lahat sa 3rd question!

***

Tags: commission, greed, kickback, zte

I’ve been out of the office for a week now and I’m getting anxious to return more so because its the start of another accounting close.  The measles spots are gradually disappearing and I’m beginning to look normal again.  Just to be sure, I paid the doctor a visit this morning to get the clearance.  She didn’t give the green light… but advised to give it a few more days rest.  Viruses have their incubation period and like a stained petri dish, I am still an active carrier.  I didn’t know if I’d feel despondent or relieved that my unscheduled vacation was extended.  Just thinking of the work piling up in my office desk while I am here, lounging in bed, is making me sick all over again.  If only measles is not contagious, I’d be crawling my way back to work even if I’m half dead.

I was watching the news the other night when a segment of a bishop giving a sermon was flashed.  In his monologue, he contemptuously ridiculed the president calling her “dwende” (dwarf) and even made a poor imitation of the infamous “I am sorry” statement.  It’s hardly what most would consider a sermon and it wasn’t the kind that I expected from a religious leader much less a bishop.  It was the exact contrast to all the catholic doctrines advocated in every celebrated sunday mass.  I am not taking the president’s side but the bishop could have made a point even without the aid of mockery.  It’s a sad fact that some people we look up to do not actually practice what they preach.